Over the weekend my husband and I have faced conflict with each other.

During difficult times in life, particularly when it comes to marriage, there a few key ingredients that are more than ever during those moments.

In the previous Lenten devotional we delved a bit into forgiveness and how it essential it is in our lives, especially when it comes to our relationships. Even as we need forgiveness to continue on together, perhaps even more importantly: we need grace.

It’s a strange term “grace”. We probably don’t truly understand it even though it affects our daily lives. We more than likely don’t think about it and talk about it even less.

But the fact is–as we practice our daily walk as believers, the essence of our belief stems on grace. Grace is shown to us in our relationship with God and, with that in mind, we are almost obliged to learn how to practice grace in our relationships with others.

The inherent definition of grace is Biblical. Merriam-Webster defines grace as “a virtue coming from God” or “unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification”.

Sometimes I think we trip up on the concept of it. Grace is bestowed by God so therefore we aren’t truly privy to it? We cannot understand or comprehend it? If we aren’t God himself, then how can we be expected to completely grasp what grace is and how to extend it to people around us?

It’s very clear that grace and forgiveness walk hand in hand. Perhaps grace is the divine strength that is given to us so we may extend forgiveness. Forgiveness is a conscious act and grace almost seems to simply flow through us from above.

Is it possible that grace is given to us specifically by the Holy Spirit to gird us for forgiveness and mercy?

It may be impossible for us to truly grasp what grace is, but maybe the point of grace is not to *understand* it, but to accept it and to show it to those around us.

This means that when we are fighting and strident, when we have the moral upper hand, that we show grace and forgiveness. I believe it means we don’t “rub it in” or behave superior because perhaps we have made better choices than our significant others.

In other words—we all need grace: to give and to receive…because we’re not always going to have the “upper hand”, so to speak.

Jesus showed abounding grace in the days leading up to his death and resurrection. Let us remember that as we move closer to the Easter season…and let us show grace (and forgiveness!) to those who need it the most from us, no matter how hard it may be.

DAILY PRAYER: Lord, send your grace to me when I need it the most. Give me strength when I am facing conflict and help me to treat those around me with love, grace and forgiveness even when I am hurting. AMEN.

It’s Sunday night.  Most of us are gearing up for the week to come.  This week in particular is busy for me and I am in bed already, exhausted from my son’s scrambled sleep thanks to Daylight Savings Time. On top that, the heat is once again not working properly in our bedrooms, which means another cold night with small space heaters to help keep the cold at bay.

There is a lot to be frustrated with right now.  In my life, I find that I want answers right away.  When I am in a conflict of any type, I want resolution instantly.  If I call to complain about heat, I want someone there  fixing it in a matter of hours (not days, as it happened last time).

The fact is:  there are always going to be issues and conflicts in life.  Each week brings them, whether they are small squabbles between my husband and I, larger issues like lack of heat, or even work conflicts.  This is the reality of life.

While I would absolutely love for everything to be perfect, for plans to roll out quickly, for responses to be fast and to my satisfaction, I am constantly being challenged and reminded that life…is actually a big messy series of difficulties and challenges…and that is never  going to change.

Even when we think “we’ve got it” and everything is perfect and copacetic, it’s not! Something is going to come crashing in to destroy (temporarily) our happiness or our best laid plans.

What can you do about it?
Stress and grow angry, take it out on people who love you, worry and have long sleepless nights?

The best thing we can do in life is grow and learn and change. Be like a blade of grass: flexible, surviving storm after storm.  Because the reality is that we are going to be dumped on in life over and over and there is nothing we can do about it.

All we can do is control how we respond to the situations around us.

So be flexible.  Take it each day at a time and remind yourself that you have survived all the ups and downs of life so far… There are many more to come and you will survive those too!

DAILY PRAYER:  LORD, even though life is hard times and reality can really be crappy, please give me the strength to face each day head on.  Give me grace when there are storms around me, whether small or big.  AMEN. 

We bring out our best, we bring out our worst.
Each day is a celebration and a struggle.
Words pour out that we meant and we don’t–
once out, cannot be forced back in.

Eat those words, we feel in pain.
Regret, despair, angry, betrayed, hurt, sad.
We never begin this way, but time and life,
push us apart and we grow away from each other.

After all the fists made of words
tearing each other down and apart,
we pause, we think, we cry, we wait
and find that love in still there.

What makes us go on?  What draws us closer?
Forgiveness.
Forgiveness is taking each others hands after the hardest times
and walking together in the same direction.

Forgiveness is moving past what we have said in anger,
moving forward in the future.
Forgiveness is choosing to trust, choosing to stay.
Forgiveness is another chance to grow together.

I forgive you as you forgive me.
We forgive each other with the example
of ultimate forgiveness in front of us.

DAILY PRAYER:  LORD, thank you for showing us forgiveness with the sacrifice you made.  Teach us to forgive each other fully and completely so we can move forward in harmony and love.  AMEN.

A recurring theme in the Bible is exile.

Through multiple books of the Bible, we read about the Jews being exiled through many passages of time.  Perhaps the first exile could be attributed to Adam and Eve being exiled from the Garden of Eden.  Later the Jews wander for forty years in the desert after leaving Egypt. Again, later in the Old Testament, they are exiled to Babylon as the political situations fluctuate about them.

Later in the New Testament, Jesus and his family are exiled to Egypt during Jesus’ childhood to avoid the murderous intent of Herod.  Then, as we read through Jesus’ life and ministry, we recognize Jesus’ symbolic exile from Jerusalem to Nazareth.  When he later enters Jerusalem triumphant on a donkey (Palm Sunday), we know he will be hanging on a cross in thirty days.

What does “exile” mean to us?

Webster essentially defines “exile” as a separation from one’s country or native land for political or punitive reasons, but I believe that exile is much more than just a physical separation.   The emotional exile from those we love is much deeper; our spiritual exile from God is indescribable.

The question we must ask ourselves is:  is our spiritual exile self imposed?  Have we chosen to turn away from reflection, meditation and a relationship with God?   Does it matter enough to make changes and to seek God out?

Being in exile means we are in limbo.  As the Israelites wandered through the desert for decades, so we will wander until we find ourselves in a spiritual “home”.

The truth is–we don’t need to live our lives this way.  We can reach out, we can return.

Do we want to live in limbo?  Do we want to wander through life, exiled from what we believe in?    There is no reason to remain this way.  The Israelite’s exile  was partially because old covenant, but we have a new covenant in Christ and that is what Lent and Easter is about!

Grace and forgiveness! There is no need to remain in exile anymore.

DAILY PRAYER:  LORD, if I have wandered from you, bring me back to your light and grace.  If I have an unsure of my path, show me your presence and your glory.  Amen. 

We are the sum of our choices.  Some are consciously made and some are made for us, but the majority of our daily decisions come and go with unconscious effort.  The proverbial forks in the road are not entirely noticed as we are swept into routines, habits and the auto piloting we all sometimes slip into.

As it goes the choices we deliberately make always seem to hold the most weight.  Most of the time we look back on the negative ones, analyzing their outcomes and ruminating on possible alternatives.  The what ifs.  Hopefully in doing this one can be objective, forgoing a sense of regret or feelings of bitterness.  The futility of changing the past aside, looking back and looking in can be a necessary step or steps needed to move forward, to learn and assist in future situations we find ourselves in.  Hindsight is foresight after all.  Ultimately, our schemes fall into the greater One, but to trust in this can be tricky when caught in a whirlwind of struggle.

It is easy to dwell on the bad choices made, but it’s important that we can reflect on the good ones too.  Perhaps there one may find a map or a set of directions.  The map of things done right.  May we allow ourselves to be steered by God toward deeper feelings of joy, accomplishment and success.  May we all choose wisely, or at least choose to choose wisely the next time.  The path with heart is there and always has been

DAILY PRAYER:  Lord, grant me wisdom as I face difficult (and easy) decisions in my life.  Steer me towards the path you have laid out for me.  I trust your plan for my life. Help me to learn from my mistakes so I can break free from unhealthy patterns and habits that may control me. AMEN.

-Matthew Duke

Life is busy.

If you’re not running around at work, trying to focus and do your job efficiently, odds are you’re run off your feet at home surrounded by needy children and a messy house.

Things can very quickly spiral out of control;  those errands that keep being put off start become very overwhelming.  The grocery run can be the final straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Some nights feel as exhausting as the days.  We may lay down with our bodies tired, but our minds are awake and worrying, thinking with anxiety of all that must be done and all the needs that must be fulfilled.

So not only do we need physical rest, we also need mental and emotional rest.  When Jesus walked on earth, we know the conundrum that he was fully man, yet fully god.  Even though we cannot wrap our finite minds around this concept completely, we do know that Jesus (despite being fully god) needed times of rest and restoration as well!

In Mark 6, Jesus and disciples spend time ministering to crowds of people:

³⁰ The apostles returned and met with Jesus, and told him all they had done and taught. ³¹ There were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his disciples didn’t even have time to eat. So he said to them, “Let us go off by ourselves to some place where we will be alone and you can rest a while.” ³² So they started out in a boat by themselves to a lonely place.

Jesus recognized that he and his disciples needed time to rest and recharge in order to continue with their ministry.

In the same way, we need time to ourselves, to commune with God and to restore our own strength.  Not only should we do this physically, Jesus also assures us that he is there to provide for us, to take our worries and fears and to carry them for us.

²⁸ “Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit; and you will find rest. ³⁰ For the yoke I will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light.” (Matt.11)

For myself, I have struggled in the past few months to balance my work life and my role as a parent and as a wife.  My husband and I have also been facing possible changes in our life which has been tiring as well.  As I have been spending the time daily to write for Lent, I find myself refreshed and ministered to by sitting by myself, playing worship music, reading the Bible and meditating.

We cannot minister to those around us and be servants if we are tired and worn down.  Many people believe that attending to one’s personal needs is selfish, but if we burn our candle at both ends, there will be nothing left of us to give.

Take the time you need to relax, to pray, to meditate and to be quiet.  Take the time to prepare yourself for another day, another week.

DAILY PRAYER:  LORD, when I am tired and weary, teach me to stop, to slow down and to rest in YOU.  Thank you for carrying my burdens for me.  Teach me to leave my worries in your hands.  Amen.